… My enema interest I think mainly stems from the control loss. I may have said this to you but I don’t think there is anything more primal than controlling when someone goes to the bathroom. I am sure the embarrassment plays a large part as well. For me its that careful line where being embarrassed is sexy and a turn-on but being humiliated is not. I’ve really only played with enemas to a larger extent with 3 people … with you and ___ it was more in the disciplinary realm while ___ was much more of a sexual thing … As to the soapy water, ___used soapy water and I just had it in my head that is what you put into the bag. I didn’t remember that you really didn’t use soap. So in answer to your question about soap – I kind of consider it part and parcel even though I know I would cramp. As to the punitive aspect, it gives me that “oh shit” feeling (pardon my expression) and I know that it won’t be the easiest but if I wanted the easiest I probably wouldn’t choose to play with you. As to longer retention I would say that makes me a bit nervous – I know I can’t bullshit you on the topic and I am just stuck holding it until you give me permission to get rid of it. As to not having privacy, its very embarrassing but what makes it okay with me (at some level) is that you choose to be there and are not grossed out about it. I still remember the first (and maybe only) time you stood there and told me to expel while you stood in front of me – I just looked at you and said – I can’t. As to putting up my punishment on the website – I don’t think I “need” it per se, but it certainly doesn’t bother me and I probably get some perverse pleasure out of seeing it there. I am very much okay with that because you are using my initial and being very discreet. As to the severity, the thought is a huge turn-on, but I guess I’d have to play it out to see where my tolerance level is at these days. So I hope I did an adequate job answering your questions – I am sure if I didn’t you will let me know.By the way, since you’re going to be getting several punishment enemas, it would be highly productive for you to write out to me some statement as to why I need to give them to you — expect it to go up on the website. I know you don’t think that’s fair, but I’m sure the readers would like a little context to accompany the story I’m going to write. I would also like you to have a bedpan, as well as a pen and a pad of paper to write lines on. I see no reason not to be extremely strict with you. M.R. StrictJust to add to my previous message to you, since your crime was a kind of anal retentiveness — holding a grudge — I’ll take the opportunity to have you experience a different kind of holding in altogether — the holding of two quarts of quite soapy water. And although you may be out of practice, that won’t preclude at least two cleanouts — ideally it would be until the purge is completely effective, but we’ll just have to see. In any case, regardless of the cleanliness of your backside by the time I’m done with you, I’ll expect you to feel completely punished for your behavior … On that same topic, during at least one of the retentions you’ll be using that pencil and paper to write lines promising that the only kind of thing you retain from now on will be a soapy punishment enema — not a grudge. Don’t expect that retention to be easy — punishment never is, and I want you to learn from your mistakes. I know you feel the same way. M.R. Strict
And then the lines she wrote as she sat on the bedpan and begged to be allowed to go. Next time we’ll work on penmanship so that the quality of the writing is better correlated to the extent of her physical needs.
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